Say Goodbye Read online

  "Doesn't Liz look beautiful?" Jessica whispered to Nicholas, looking across the crowded dance floor to where her twin was dancing dreamily in Todd's arms.

  "She sure does," Nicholas admitted.

  Actually, Nicholas was the one Jessica kept looking at. He looked even more handsome than usual that night in a navy blazer and crisp white shirt. He was so much more sophisticated than anyone her age was, Jessica thought appreciatively. So much more distinguished.

  "You know, Nicholas," Jessica said confidentially, dropping her voice a little, "I bet Liz would really appreciate some company once Todd's moved. She'll probably be feeling a little low for a few days. I'm sure she'd love having your support."

  Nicholas's eyebrows shot up. "She doesn't look like she's going to want company," he pointed out. "Not for a long time, I'd say—if ever!"

  Jessica laughed merrily. "Of course she doesn't look like it," she whispered. "How could she? This is a farewell party for Todd, after all. But just give it a few days," she added. "After all, Nicholas, you're such a good friend of hers. And soon Liz will be needing her friends more than ever—if you see what I mean."

  "Thanks, Jess," Nicholas said, looking at Elizabeth with interest. "I appreciate the tip."

  Jessica nodded in satisfaction as she watched Nicholas stroll over to the bar where Enid Rollins and Winston Egbert were standing. The more she thought about it, the better she felt about the idea of Nicholas and Elizabeth together. What would have been best, of course, Jessica reflected, would have been Nicholas falling in love with her. But as things stood, Nicholas would be a thousand times better for Elizabeth than Todd.

  He was exactly what she needed, Jessica thought. Someone a little older, someone with a different perspective. Someone new. And most of all, someone who wasn't moving to Vermont!

  Actually, now that Todd was moving, Jessica felt kind of fond of him. She had to admit he looked good that night, too—almost as good as Nicholas. Todd had his good points, that was for sure. But he and Elizabeth were like bread and butter. They were good together but just so boring! They just didn't make sparks fly anymore. Clearly Todd's move was just the opportunity her twin needed to expand her horizons. And once Jessica helped Elizabeth see it that way, she could stop looking so mournful and start having a good time again.

  That was all there was to it, Jessica thought. Someone had to save Elizabeth before she ended up in a convent or something. And Nicholas was definitely the one to do it.

  "Todd, let's sit this one out," Elizabeth whispered as the band started up again. "I feel like we've barely had a chance to talk all night. And tomorrow—"

  "Let's go outside," Todd said huskily. "I feel like looking at the water with you one last time. We can talk out there."

  A minute later the two of them had slipped outside. The cool night air felt wonderful. Elizabeth was glad to be alone with Todd, away from the crowded disco. "It's gorgeous out here," she said, looking up at the moon as they walked on the beach.

  "Liz . . . " Todd whispered, turning to face her.

  Suddenly they were in each other's arms. Elizabeth could feel Todd's heart pounding as he clutched her to him. She could hear him whispering her name over and over again as his lips searched for hers in the darkness. The next minute his warm mouth was touching hers, and she could feel the wetness of his face as tears streamed from his eyes.

  "Come with me," he said soberly, taking her hand and leading her across the damp sand.

  Elizabeth hadn't been out by the water at night for a long time. Squeezing Todd's hand, she walked with him along the line where the tide was coming in and listened to the waves crashing over the sand. But Elizabeth was only half-conscious of the sounds and sensations around her—the damp sand in her sandals, the smell of saltwater, the moonlight sparkling on the water. All she could think of was how close Todd was right then . . .

  "Liz," Todd said earnestly, taking a folded piece of tissue paper from the breast pocket of his blazer, "I have something for you. It's nothing much," he added hastily, seeing the expression on her face. "I just wanted you to have a little remembrance that you could wear all the time."

  Fumbling with the tissue paper, Elizabeth unwrapped a tiny gold locket on a fine chain. "It's beautiful," she murmured, tears in her eyes. "Todd, I'll never take it off."

  Todd stared sadly at the ground. "My father and I had a long talk last night, Liz. He thinks it's selfish of me to try to have claims on you from so far away. He told me I should encourage you to meet other guys. But I—"

  "I know." Elizabeth sighed. "I've heard the same argument from just about everyone—my parents, Steve, even Enid! But I don't see why we should listen to them. All we can do is follow what our hearts tell us, Todd. And if you feel the way I do, then—"

  "I do," Todd interrupted, pulling Elizabeth closer to him. "I just can't imagine holding another girl like this. If you can just be patient . . . "

  "I don't want anyone but you." Elizabeth wept, holding Todd as tightly as she could. "How can anyone else tell us what's best, anyway? We're the only ones who know how we feel!"

  "I'm so glad you agree," Todd murmured. "God, Liz, if I thought you were in love with someone else . . . if I had to carry on from day to day a couple of thousand miles away, knowing you wanted some other guy . . .

  "I'll write every day," Todd told her. "And I'm going to get a part-time job right away so I can afford to call you often. And so I can start saving to come back for a visit as soon as I can."

  "Oh, Todd," Elizabeth said with a sob, her face against his shoulder, "I love you so much! I don't think I'm going to be able to stand this!"

  "I love you, too," Todd whispered. "I guess all we can do is hang on and be strong, Liz—and ignore all the advice our families are giving us. We're too much in love to forget each other just because we're far apart."

  "I could never forget you," Elizabeth cried emphatically, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  She had no idea how she was going to survive the next twenty-four hours. All she knew was that she was going to have to, somehow, even though right then it felt as if her heart were breaking.

  Elizabeth felt as if she were in the middle of a terrible nightmare. But this is real, she told herself miserably. There's no way I can put an end to what's happening by waking up. There was nothing she could do at all.

  Four

  It was Sunday afternoon, and Jessica was kneeling in front of the big file cabinet in Mary Ann's office, riffling through the profiles the agency had received over the last few weeks. Jessica had let herself in with her new set of keys and gone straight to work trying to find recent applicants who had not yet received the names of men to contact.

  Each file contained a questionnaire, filled out in detail by the applicant, and a pink index card with various notes Mary Ann had jotted down. There were no photographs, and Jessica was spending ages agonizing over the folders, trying to decide what each woman was like. One was "tall, cheerful, and athletic," which sounded pretty good, but she wanted a man over forty-five, preferably a doctor. Another was "blond, slim, and fond of the out-of-doors," but she wanted "a man willing to relocate to Italy," and Jessica didn't think Steven would go for that.

  At last Jessica had a list of prospective matches. Beatrice Barber, the first one, was a little on the old side—forty-three, her application said. But she was self-described as "beautiful, energetic, and a lot of fun." What was there to object to in that? And she was divorced from "a wealthy banker," so she probably had a lot of money to throw around. Besides, Jessica thought, Steven might do well with an older woman. According to the National Enquirer, it was a good move. All the stars thought so.

  Next on the list was Jordan MacGuire, whose name Jessica thought was terribly glamorous. She was interested in "films, foreign accents, sports cars, and German philosphers." Her nickname was Jody, and she was only twenty—just a little bit older than Steven. Jessica thought this was an inspired choice. Steven was always bragging about how much he'd learned since he'd been away at college, and this Jody sounded as though she'd be a worthy companion. Maybe they could go to coffeehouses together and get extremely intellectual.

  The only other candidate Jessica found who really seemed worth pursuing was a woman named Melissa Porter. Her nickname was Missy, and according to her questionnaire, she loved "cooking, restaurants, eating—as well as all sorts of traditional things around the house." Steven had been making such a big deal about how lousy dormitory food was—maybe Melissa would fall in love with him and cook wonderful meals for him. That would make him happy.

  Satisfied for the time being, Jessica closed the file cabinet and hurried back to the desk in the lobby with the three names and telephone numbers. Settling back in her swivel chair, she dialed the first number.

  "Ms. Barber? This is the Perfect Match Computer Dating Agency, and I just wanted to let you know that our computer has just come up with the man of your dreams!"

  "Really?" a middle-aged voice inquired. "That was quick! Can you tell me anything about him? What's his name?"

  "His name," Jessica said dramatically, "is Steven Wakefield. And I'd be happy to satisfy your curiosity about him. But I think the best thing would be for me to give you his telephone number, so you can find out for yourself how wonderful he really is. Only don't mention where you got his name, OK? He's a little shy about using our agency—since he's so gorgeous!"

  What a wonderful sister I am, Jessica thought happily. In no time at all Steven would have a new girlfriend. She didn't want him to be overwhelmed, though. She'd wait to see what happened with the first woman before she made any other calls. But one of them was bound to make him forget Tricia Martin once and for all!

  Elizabeth was sitting on the front steps of the Wilkinses' house, watc
hing the family loading the car with suitcases. "What's going to happen?" Elizabeth asked miserably. "You can't just leave the house—and all this furniture!"

  "Mr. Egbert is going to take care of selling the house for us," Mr. Wilkins explained, patting Elizabeth on the shoulder as if to show he knew how she felt. "We expect it may take a few months, but Sam knows what he's doing."

  Sam Egbert was a realtor and the father of Winston, a classmate of Elizabeth and Todd generally known as the school clown. Usually Elizabeth burst out laughing when she thought about Winston and his antics. But this afternoon nothing could make her smile.

  "But what about the furniture?" she pressed stubbornly. It was as if she thought she could remind the Wilkinses of some terrible oversight and keep them right there in Sweet Valley.

  "Sam is going to have it shipped to us along with the car once we've wrapped up the deal on the house my firm is looking at," Mr. Wilkins told her. Todd had sold his own car, a blue Datsun, a day earlier.

  Elizabeth bit her lip. Everything seemed so final, so irreversible.

  "Don't worry, Liz," Mr. Wilkins said fondly, lowering his voice so Todd couldn't hear him. "I expect you'll be seeing more of your friend here than you think."

  Elizabeth nodded numbly. She barely heard what Todd's father had said. She just hoped her expression belied what she was feeling inside. It hurt even to look at Todd; his face was so full of the emotions she was feeling. She was afraid if she met his gaze she'd burst into tears in front of the whole family.

  "OK, Todd," Mr. Wilkins said finally, wiping his brow as he surveyed the contents of the car. "If we're going to make it to the airport in time to get on our flight, we've got to pull out of here in ten minutes. And I have a hunch there's someone you'd rather spend those ten minutes with than your aging father."

  "Come on, Liz," Todd muttered, grabbing her arm.

  Tears blinding her eyes, Elizabeth jumped to her feet and followed Todd. She could barely see where she was going. All she knew was that Todd's fingers were grasping her arm. He was still there, still beside her. Ten more minutes, and . . .

  "Let's go out back," Todd whispered, slipping his arm around her waist. Elizabeth nodded, smiling gratefully up into his brown eyes. She was so glad Todd had thought to take her away so they could be by themselves for a few minutes. It was so hard in front of his family, so difficult to keep from sobbing.

  "Last night," Todd whispered, his voice thick, "I told myself that I'd be brave for your sake. I said—" His voice broke, and he looked away from Elizabeth, fighting for control. "I told myself that I wouldn't cry. But, Liz . . ."

  The next minute tears were running down his cheeks.

  As much as she had thought about it Elizabeth had no idea their parting would be so painful. Tears fell from her own eyes as she stared at Todd's sorrowful face. The next minute she was in his arms, crying as if she'd never stop, her chest heaving against his.

  It seemed to Elizabeth that they had only held each other for an instant when she heard Todd's father calling. "I've got to go," Todd said, lifting his tear-streaked face and staring at her as if he were trying to memorize her features.

  "Will you call me?" Elizabeth choked out, brushing the tears from her eyes.

  Todd nodded. Taking Elizabeth's hand, he walked with her around the side of the house back to the front yard. Elizabeth stared at the car waiting in the front drive. In just a minute Todd will be in that car, she told herself. It'll back down the drive and turn down the street and disappear. And Todd won't live here anymore. I won't be able to see him tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or . . .

  "Go on," she whispered to Todd, avoiding his eyes so she wouldn't break down again. "Get in the car, Todd. They're all waiting."

  "You go first," Todd urged her. "I don't want to leave before you do."

  Elizabeth nodded. Kissing Todd on the cheek and waving at the Wilkinses, who were inside the car, she turned and took a few tentative steps down the drive. She could feel Todd watching her. I'll just keep walking, she told herself. One foot in front of the other, and by the time I reach the end of the street, they'll be gone. They'll—

  A sudden panic broke over her as Elizabeth realized that this was really it. In just a matter of seconds Todd would be gone. A new flood of tears burst from her as she spun around and ran back up the drive to where Todd was standing with his hand on the car door. "Todd!" she cried, flinging her arms around him. "Oh, Todd, I'm going to miss you so much!"

  In the end it was Todd who left first. Elizabeth couldn't leave him until he got in the car—and she wouldn't leave the Wilkinses' drive until the last glimpse of the familiar car had vanished around the corner, leaving her entirely alone.

  "I'm home!" Jessica announced loudly, slamming the front door behind her and dumping her jacket and bag on the table in the Wakefields' front hall. Nobody answered, and after a minute Jessica headed through the back of the house to the sliding door leading out to the patio, where she found her parents deep in conversation with Steven.

  "I thought you were going back to college this afternoon," Jessica said, looking at her brother in confusion.

  "Trying to get rid of me?" Steven said lightly. "I'm going back tonight," he added, "but I thought I'd stick around for a while so I could spend some time with Liz before I go."

  "That's what we're talking about, Jess," Mr. Wakefield explained. "Your sister's over at the Wilkinses' house right now. I think she's going to need a lot of attention when she gets back."

  "Oh," Jessica said, remembering. "The big move is today!"

  "That's right," Mrs. Wakefield said. "Jess, has Liz talked to you much about it? We're worried that she's kept awfully quiet about the whole thing."

  "Maybe she doesn't care that much," Jessica suggested. "Maybe she's kind of relieved Todd's moving, and she's afraid to admit it."

  "I don't think so," Steven said. "What gives you that impression?"

  Jessica shrugged. "Well . . ."

  Alice Wakefield shook her head. "You may feel that way, honey, but I don't think your sister does. I think she's broken up about the whole thing."

  Jessica sighed. "Well, we'll just have to keep her busy," she remarked. "After all—"

  "Ssshh!" Steven warned. "I think I hear Liz coming."

  A moment later Elizabeth came out onto the patio. Jessica took a deep breath when she saw her twin. She'd never seen Elizabeth looking like this before. From a distance, it was the same old Elizabeth—blond ponytail, neat khaki shorts and polo shirt, grayish tennis shoes with clean laces. But her face . . . Jessica couldn't get over the expression on her twin's face. Her eyes were swollen from crying, and her skin was blotchy. But the worst, the very worst, was the apathetic look in her blue-green eyes. She looked numb.

  "Are you OK?" Mrs. Wakefield asked, jumping up to put her arms around her daughter.

  Elizabeth nodded stonily. "I wanted to let you all know that I'm fine," she said flatly. "But I'm feeling a little tired, so I thought I'd say goodbye to Steven now and go up and lie down, if that's OK."

  "Aren't you going to want any dinner?" Mrs. Wakefield asked, her brow furrowing with concern.

  Elizabeth shook her head. "No, thanks," she said quietly.

  Jessica stared at her twin in disbelief. This was worse than she feared—much worse! She'd better do something right away. No dinner! This was serious!

  But I won't let Elizabeth do this to herself, Jessica thought. Noway. Between Nicholas Morrow and me, we just may be able to save her.

  Five

  "Thank goodness we have our own car!" Jessica exclaimed, turning the twins' red Fiat Spider down a shady side street en route to Sweet Valley High. It was Monday morning, a week after Todd had left, and Jessica was running through a mental checklist of all the things she had to get done that week: cheerleading practice; two more afternoons at the dating service; and shopping for a new dress for Lila's party that month—even though that meant she'd have to work that much longer to pay back her parents, it would have been impossible to get everything done without the help of the trusty Fiat the twins' parents had given them.

  "Mmm," Elizabeth mumbled, scanning a piece of paper covered with her neat handwriting.