Jessica's Secret Love Read online

  Jessica looked at her impassively. "Very funny. Maybe you could take that act on TV. You know Mom made me clean my room."

  "I had no idea you had a wooden floor," Elizabeth said wonderingly, tapping it with her foot. "And you have a bed, too. I always thought you just slept on a little nest of some kind."

  "You're a real laugh riot today, aren't you?" Jessica said in exasperation.

  Elizabeth laughed. "Sorry. Couldn't resist. But the room looks great. It seems so much bigger and airier."

  "I think it's sterile," Jessica grumbled. "I can't find anything when it's all so . . . organized."

  "Excuse me, guys?" Sue poked her head in the partly open door. "Can I come in?"

  "Of course," Jessica said, beckoning her in.

  "What do you think of this outfit?" Sue asked nervously. "I want to look right for Jeremy." She pirouetted in front of them. She was wearing a dressy silk shorts-and-top set in a pretty shade of rose. As usual, her outfit was the latest in New York chic, but it wasn't the sort of daring look that Jessica knew she'd choose if she didn't have a mother around to supervise her.

  "You look great," Elizabeth said. "Jeremy will definitely appreciate what he's been missing."

  "You think so?" Sue looked doubtfully at her outfit. "Maybe I should wear a skirt, or dressier sandals. Or both. Bigger earrings or something."

  "I think you look fine as is," Jessica said. "You make me feel totally frumpy." Well, not exactly frumpy, she thought, looking down at her two-piece dress of black linen. There were open-work scallops all around the neck and sleeves, and the back was practically bare except for the hand embroidery.

  "No, no, this outfit is all wrong," Sue said desperately. "I have to go change." Turning, she fled down the hall to Steven's room.

  The twins looked at each other and smiled. "I know how she feels," Jessica said. "If I were about to meet the love of my life again, I think I would be throwing up in the bathroom."

  Elizabeth chuckled. "I just wanted to tell you that I think you've been great with Sue the last few days. I know your mystery man is still on your mind, but you've really put yourself out to help Sue and make her feel welcome, and I'm proud of you." She reached over and gave Jessica a spontaneous hug.

  Jessica hugged her back and sighed. "I like Sue a lot, but it's been really hard, listening to her go on about how much in love she is, and how perfect ol' Jeremy is. I feel as though I've known him my whole life, the way she talks about him constantly."

  "Saint Jeremy," Elizabeth giggled.

  "Jeremy the Wise," Jessica said with a smirk.

  "Jeremy the Beneficent." Elizabeth started laughing out loud.

  "What's worse is that even loser-at-love Lila has someone. I feel like I'm in the middle of a conspiracy. I have to watch everyone else be happy while I'm alone and miserable." Jessica grimaced, then headed into the bathroom that connected the girls' two bedrooms. She fumbled around in her makeup drawer and started fixing her face.

  Elizabeth followed her. "Why mess with perfection?" she teased as Jessica carefully brushed a bit of blush across her high cheekbones.

  "I just want to present a good face. There's no reason why the whole world has to know my heart is broken into a thousand pieces."

  "Well, that's a switch," Elizabeth said. "Since when are you such a private-type person?"

  "I mean, I don't have to look like a hag just because I'm destined to be single all my life," Jessica continued. Her hand was steady as she outlined her eyes with a smoky gray eyeliner pencil.

  "Do you still really care about him so much? You were only with him five minutes, almost a week ago."

  Jessica stopped and looked into Elizabeth's eyes. "Yeah. I still care about him. When he ran off like that, it was as if someone had taken the actual air out of my lungs." She sighed and turned back to the mirror to give her hair a good brushing.

  "Should I wear it up or down?" she asked Elizabeth, looking at herself critically.

  "Up always looks elegant." Elizabeth stood beside her and drew her own hair back with matching faux tortoiseshell combs. Catching Jessica's glance in the mirror, she said, "Do yon think I'm a complete dope when it comes to relationships?" Her blue-green eyes suddenly looked haunted.

  "No more than any other sixteen-year-old," Jessica said airily. Then, seeing Elizabeth's real distress, she said, "Liz, so you made a mistake with Luke. Big deal. People do it all the time. Just concentrate on Todd and forget it ever happened." She patted Elizabeth's shoulder briskly.

  "Not people, Jessica. Women."

  "What? What are you talking about?"

  "People don't make mistakes all the time. Women do. Women constantly make mistakes about men. And I'm no exception. That's why it's so important for me to really understand myself and my motivations. My book is really helping me. But the more I read, the more issues I feel I have to work on. Boyfriends, myself, my self-esteem. I keep getting pulled in different directions. I've started reading another book, too."

  "Good, good," Jessica murmured, pushing in the last hairpin. Her hair was now coiled loosely on top her head in a soft, romantic bun. "How do I look?"

  "Gorgeous. It's called Primal Woman, Woman of Strength."

  Jessica frowned at her. "What is?"

  "The new book I'm reading."

  Jessica lightly spritzed her hair with a bit of holding spray. "Elizabeth—maybe you're going overboard with this self-help stuff. I mean, why don't you just hang out and not worry about it so much?"

  Elizabeth sighed and surveyed her summery, yellow sleeveless jumpsuit with wide, flowing legs in the mirror. "I just need a little guidance to steer clear of romantic pitfalls. Anyway, I guess I'll go see if Mom needs any help in the kitchen."

  "I'll be down in a minute." Jessica grinned. "As soon as you've finished helping her and there's nothing left for me to do."

  Elizabeth laughed. "You'll never change." She left through her bedroom and headed downstairs.

  There, Jessica thought, putting the finishing touches on her makeup. But somehow the sight of her perfectly primped face only made her realize how horrible she really felt. Heading back to her room, she wanted to flop down on her neatly made bed and burst into tears. How could she go on living, knowing that she would never see her dream man again, never feel his kiss? Never would she plan her own wedding, never would she have blond, dark-eyed children. Jessica bit back a sob, determined not to ruin her makeup. She would just have to muddle through the rest of her life one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

  Sighing heavily, Jessica left her room and headed downstairs. There was no point in avoiding it. Soon she would have to meet Sue's Mr. Perfect, and she would have to smile and be polite and make conversation with someone she could care less about. He was probably chunky, she decided, plodding down the stairs. Maybe he was already losing his hair.

  The front doorbell rang when she was halfway down the stairs.

  "Jess, could you get that?" her mother called from the dining room.

  "OK," she called back. She unthinkingly patted her hair into place as she opened the door.

  "Hi, you must be—" Jessica froze in midsentence, her eyes wide. She was dreaming. She must still be upstairs in her room, sound asleep on her bed, wrinkling the dress that had taken all afternoon to iron.

  There, standing on the front porch, was the gorgeous stranger, her gorgeous stranger, looking at her with as much shock as she felt.

  Jessica's heart leapt and her face broke into a radiant smile. He had come back for her. He had found her somehow. They would actually be together. She would get married and have children, after all.

  "You're here," she breathed, drinking him in hungrily with her eyes. He was as tall as she remembered, with wide, powerful shoulders and slim hips. His honey-blond hair was trimmed slightly, still curling in unruly waves around his neck. As attractive as he had been in his black swim trunks, he looked even more handsome in his khaki pants, white shirt, and navy jacket. His shirt was open at the throat, and Jessica's eyes fastened on the beating of his pulse there.

  As if in a dream, she took a step closer toward him. Unbidden, her arms began to lift, soon to circle around his neck. He stood stiffly, with a panicked look on his face. Jessica saw the longing in his eyes. He wanted her; she could feel it.

  "Jeremy!" A happy shriek in back of Jessica made her jump. She turned to look at Sue as she ran down the stairs and toward the front door, toward Jessica's true love. Jessica stared uncomprehendingly as Sue brushed past her and threw her arms around the beautiful stranger. Jessica's mouth dropped open as the stranger's arms came up to circle Sue's back.

  "Jeremy, Jeremy," Sue was murmuring into his tanned neck. "I missed you so much. I can't believe you're finally here." Her eyes shining, she lifted her face to his. Jessica watched as Jeremy, Sue's wonderful fiancé and the one true love of Jessica's life, bent his head and kissed Sue on the lips. His coal-dark eyes burned into Jessica's for an instant before closing shut.

  Chapter 5

  Pulling away after their kiss, Sue turned a glowing face to Jessica. "Jessica, I'd like you to meet my fiancé, Jeremy Randall." She gave a tinkling laugh. "I've talked about him so much, you probably feel like you know him already."

  "Yes, I do," Jessica said in a low voice. Her face was burning, her heart heavy.

  Jessica's dream man stepped forward and held out his hand. "How do you do, Jessica?" he said huskily, not meeting her eyes.

  You know very well how I do, Jessica thought numbly. This can't he happening. This is a nightmare. This is much worse than never seeing you again. With every ounce of willpower she possessed, she forced herself to hold out her own suddenly icy hand, and let it be enveloped by his strong brown one. But you're mine, her mind protested futilely. You know you're mine.

  Then Elizabeth and Mrs. Wakefield were behind her, and they were all smiling and shaking hands. When Jeremy first saw Elizabeth, he started visibly, looking quickly from her back to Jessica. Then he gave a small nod and smiled casually.

  "I'm so pleased to meet you," Elizabeth said. "According to Sue, you're perfect in every way."

  "He is!" Sue protested.

  Jeremy's warm laughter filled the foyer.

  "Jeremy, welcome," Mrs. Wakefield said. "If there's anything we can help you with while you're here, please let us know."

  "Thank you."

  "Now come in. You must be hungry after that long flight," Mrs. Wakefield said chattily. "We have some appetizers set up in the family room. Was your plane on time?"

  "Excuse me," Jessica said and quickly shut herself up in the first-floor powder room as her mother led the others down the hall. She leaned trembling against the sink, feeling as if she was going to be sick. The only man she would ever love was engaged to marry another woman. And that woman was Sue Gibbons. And that was why he'd said he couldn't ever see her again.

  Jessica sat down on the closed toilet lid for a minute, a cool washcloth against her forehead. She remembered Sue telling her that he was twenty-three—he was older than she had thought. But his kiss had been so sincere—their connection so obvious. What she had seen in his eyes at the beach that day had been real, had been lasting . . . .

  Get a grip, she told herself. If he could be so cool and collected, so could she. Sure you're totally, irrevocably, dangerously in love with him, but that doesn't mean you have no pride. After splashing water on her face, she walked calmly out to the family room, where her parents, Elizabeth, and Sue were all talking and laughing with Jeremy.

  "And you've met Jessica," Alice Wakefield said cheerfully as Jessica entered the room.

  Jeremy met her eyes for a split second. "Yes, briefly," he said with a smile.

  Jessica smiled at him noncommittally and took her place beside Elizabeth on the couch. She was rewarded by the slightest hint of his lips tightening. Jeremy, she thought, keeping her expression blank. Now she knew his name at last. Jeremy. Jeremy and Jessica. J and J. Jessica Randall. As she watched him holding hands with Sue, talking and laughing with Elizabeth and their parents, her heart constricted painfully. At least Elizabeth had no idea this was the same man Jessica had been mooning over for the past week. Right now Jessica had no patience for one of Elizabeth's "be sensible" lectures.

  As though in a dream, Jessica got up with the others when it was time for dinner. Mr. Wakefield had prepared one of Jessica's favorite meals: his famous oven-fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and sugar snap peas. But tonight she could hardly taste anything. She was sitting next to Elizabeth and across from Jeremy and Sue at the dining room table. With every bite that she forced down, she felt Jeremy's dark eyes on her, watching her. She refused to look at him—she had never felt so betrayed in her life. He had chosen to marry someone else. But has he really chosen? Obviously he has, Jessica, she told herself. Nobody forced him to ask Sue to be his wife.

  "Jessica?"

  Looking up quickly, she saw that Sue was smiling at her from across the table.

  Jessica smiled back. Fortunately, she'd had a lot of practice hiding her feelings. "I'm sorry—what did you say?"

  "I said, tell Jeremy all the places you and Elizabeth have taken me in the last three days. I can't remember half of them." She turned an excited face to her fiancé. "They've been so sweet to me, Jeremy. I've had the best time. I'm almost ready to move to Sweet Valley for good! Do you think we could live here, with our jobs and everything?"

  Jessica's heart contracted as Jeremy smiled down at Sue. "I don't know, sweetie. We've carved out a niche for ourselves in New York. But we'll talk about it, OK?" He reached across and casually rubbed Sue's back. She beamed and leaned against him, like a kitten preening under his touch. Jessica concentrated on sipping her water so she wouldn't have to look at them. If they move here, I'm taking off for Alaska.

  "Let's see—we went to the Beach Cafe, we played tennis at the country club, we went shopping . . . ." Elizabeth started ticking off their activities on her fingers.

  "We went to the mall, and to the Dairi Burger—hmmm, and what else? We went to the beach . . . ." Jessica said deliberately, meeting Jeremy's eyes. He looked straight back at her calmly. Why are you pretending that our kiss never happened?

  "Wow! I hope you girls haven't been running Sue ragged. She's going to need her strength for the next few weeks," Mrs. Wakefield joked. "Speaking of which, have you two decided what kind of wedding you'd like?"

  "We haven't really talked about it," Sue said, gazing adoringly into Jeremy's eyes.

  "Since it's going to be here in Sweet Valley, it makes sense to utilize the natural beauty of the area," Jeremy said in his slightly husky voice that sent chills down Jessica's spine. "On the flight over here, I was thinking that maybe we could have a nice, simple ceremony on the beach, with just some friends and our families. Something small, but special." He looked at Sue expectantly.

  Elizabeth laughed. "That's funny. We were talking about weddings the other day, and that's exactly the kind of wedding Jessica said she wanted." Elizabeth looked at her sister fondly. "She said maybe she'd even go barefoot—and then have a wild party afterward, with a band." Everyone around the table laughed—everyone except Jeremy.

  Jessica smiled tightly and looked down at the pattern she was making in her mashed potatoes. See, she telegraphed to Jeremy. You said we hardly knew each other, but this is proof that we're meant to be together, the two halves of the same person.

  "Well, I don't know if I'll go barefoot, but if Jeremy wants to be married on a beach, it sounds fine to me. As long as we're together," Sue said.

  What about your big fancy church wedding? Jessica wondered.

  "What are your plans for tomorrow?" Mrs. Wakefield asked Sue and Jeremy. For the last half-hour they had been drinking coffee out on the patio and talking about the young couple's wedding plans.

  Looking over at Elizabeth, Sue said, "Elizabeth has offered to take me to the bookstore tomorrow to buy a wedding planner."

  "That's a good idea. It'll help us keep track of all the details," Mrs. Wakefield agreed.

  "Then," Elizabeth said, smiling, "Jessica and I have to get together with Jeremy for a while."

  Jeremy raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

  "Yes," Elizabeth said. "Mom, maybe you could show Sue your office tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure you'll have some great ideas about the kinds of decorations we can use on the beach." Mrs. Wakefield had her own interior decorating firm in downtown Sweet Valley.

  "That would be great," Sue said.

  "I'd be happy to," Mrs. Wakefield agreed. She sat back in her chair and gazed up at the sky. "Look at that beautiful moon. I hope we have such perfect weather for your wedding."

  "We will," Sue said firmly. "Sweetie, I have a great idea. Why don't we take your car and drive to the beach now?" she suggested to Jeremy. "I think I can find the way there by myself. Wouldn't the beach be pretty at night?"

  "Uh-oh. I think the young lovebirds want some time alone," Ned Wakefield teased. "The beach is a very romantic place at night."

  Sue blushed becomingly. "Can we?" she asked Jeremy again.

  Half hidden in the shadows of their small palm tree, Jessica watched Jeremy's face intently. Indecision played across his handsome features, but at Sue's beseeching look, he smiled and agreed.

  "You have a rental car, don't you?" Mrs. Wakefield asked.

  "Yes. It's right out front," Jeremy responded.

  "The way to the beach is really easy," Elizabeth confirmed. "But if you guys get lost or anything, just call us and we'll come rescue you."

  Sue and Jeremy laughed. His laughter sent a thrill through Jessica's spine.

  "It's a deal," he said. He stood up and shook Mr. and Mrs. Wakefield's hands. "Thank you for a wonderful dinner," he said. He looked over at Elizabeth. "Nice meeting you. I'll see you tomorrow." Then Jeremy sought out Jessica's face in the deepening shadows. His eyes met hers, and she sat very still. "Nice meeting you," he said. She nodded quickly and looked away, biting her lip.

  Mrs. Wakefield led them back through the house, making sure that Sue had a key to let herself back in.

  For a moment Jessica sat in her lawn chair, torturing herself with images of Sue and Jeremy in his car. She imagined the beach, moonlight glowing on the white sand, the cool ocean breeze, the feeling of privacy and magic. The long kisses, the murmured sighs, the happiness the couple felt at being back together . . .